Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
