im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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