Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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