and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
