White coat. Heels.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I supernannyed him into submission
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
