Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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