physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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