just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
