big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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