In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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