i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
