Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
