Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Shame - the story of my life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
