So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
