then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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