Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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