At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
