yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
