very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Randomize
