he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
