Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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