I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
