doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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