your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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