just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
