got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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