Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
