Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
