Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't turn off my feet"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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