If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
