How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
