One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
