now i know why i became what i already was.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
