it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
