is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have tasted many bathrooms
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
