i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
