She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
should my penis look like a turkey
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
