I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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