Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
