3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
