so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
