Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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