hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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