The maid of honor just puked.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
