There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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