Please, let me fuck your mom
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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