The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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