I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
