She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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