I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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